I’ve been going to about a dozen psychodrama structures, led by Linda Thai. In each group container we build, it creates a magical space, what a friend of mine called a spell. In this zone, magical healing happens.

But then we step out of the veil.

And we’re back into life, and the whiplash of hell returns.

I’ve seen myself too often get caught up in the lure of the spell, a space where I’m free from the weight of the world, and held by community.

However, the healing happens when we’re back in the land of the living. Unless you’re gonna climb up a mountain and spend the rest of your life in a monastery, what we do in these healing circles have to come back to life.

Possibilities for integration

I’ve done psychodrama groups, grief rituals, and psychelic work over the past five years, and here are a few possibilities that have worked for me. I use possibilities, because it is only that. There is no answer, only what works for you.

Integration is the sensemaking and embodiment of the insights, emotions, or shifts that happen during a healing practice. The trip itself is not the healing, it’s the opening toward the healing, how you transform it into your day-to-day life.

Window of neuroplasticity

There’s a small, or large, window of time when you’re coming out of healing groups feeling tender. Perhaps the armoring is down, perhaps the emotions are flowing, perhaps you’re feeling supported.

If you’re able to plan some down time after a retreat, or doing some work, use this window to make a small shift in your life. Small, because going the opposite direction sometimes can lead to a spring back effect, when the mind/body rejects the change aggressively.

Here are a few examples of what I’ve done:

• Planned a few coaching sessions with my ADHD coach to help me make small changes in my life, and hold me accountable.

• Use a todo list and add in capacity management.

• Help day time Daniel plan for night time Daniel (he runs out of steam and needs a lot of support).

• Build new friendships and community.

• Work with a nutritionist to change my diet.

• Journal, these thoughts, these feelings later help with remembering the imprint.

What we’re aiming for is letting these changes stick, land deep in our mind and body.

Remembering the imprint

Hopefully your work has some somatic part to it, whether you’re physically held/touched, or you create feelings deep in your body. When you’re doing the work, be mindful of remembering the imprints on your body. Where does it land, where will it be?

Place a hand over your heart, squeeze yourself with your hands like the hug you received, cup your face with the palms of your hand. Take pictures of the event, or with the people you’ve connected with (ask). Get the playlist of music played.

• Hum the song. I still can feel the song that someone sang for me, and when I hum it, it brings me back to that moment. You’ll often see me wondering around in stressful moments humming that song.

• Listen to the playlist. It’s amazing how deep some of the songs get. When I listen back to the healing songs, it brings me back to that moment of support.

• Hug a friend. I found platonic relationships to be incredibly healing for me. I asked a neighbor to be my hugging buddy. For over a year now, I see him, and he sees me, and we hug for at least 20 seconds, followed by a collapsing of the body, and sounds of laughter.

Make shifts in your life

Life is full of routines and systems of structures that keep us fixed. Part of doing the work, is so that we can change our lives to better suit our needs. No, we can’t change macro systems of racism, patriarchy, etc., but we can change the bubble that’s around us.

Prompting questions:

• Am I in the job that’s working for me? Can I change the way I work with my manager, and my peers? Is the work itself suitable for my mental and physical needs?

• How can I get more security in my life? Financial, relational, emotional, etc.

• What’s the elephant in the room? What’s the big thing that seems impossible to change? How can I chunk it up into smaller steps so I can make progress in this. Progress over perfection.

Lifeline

One of the biggest challenge I have coming out of group work, or any healing work, is the contraction. It always happens. You’ll be blissful with all love, then like a rubber band, it snaps back and I’m on the other side of my void of dispair.

One thing that has helped me the most, is finding that one person (or eventually many people) that I can reach out to to remind myself that I’m not absolutely alone in the whole world by myself. That when I’m in my void of aloneness, a hand reaches out, and helps me find my way back.

It takes work to find that person.

It takes an openness to receiving help.

It takes faith that you can do it.